BOOK REVIEWS

George Vern Ellison with guest  after giving a presentation on his book at a Alzheimer's Association in San Diego area.

Book Review              

by Kathy Battaglia, Education Coordinator
Akron Tri-County Chapter (Ohio)
Alzheimer's Association

   George Ellison wrote this book describing the challenges and decision-making he had to deal with while taking care of his wife, Sara.

   On their journey together through Alzheimer's Disease. The notes he kept helped him maintain his own sanity and he intended that the book which evolved from them would help others by learning through his experiences.

   Sara Ellison developed the symptoms of A.D. while in her early fifties.

   Her memory loss, extreme mood swings, confusion and bizarre behaviors lead George to seek help from the family doctor, a psychiatrist and finally a neurologist.

   Many types of therapy were tried beginning with drugs to treat depression. Nothing worked well or for very long. After almost 3 years of medical, psychological and cognitive evaluations the neurologist came to the conclusion that Sara's brain was deteriorating and that nothing could be done.

   Never was the word "Alzheimer's" used. Only after Sara was prescribed Cognex did George learn by chance, that Cognex was a drug for Alzheimer's Disease. This gave him someplace to start in order to learn how to deal with all the changes in Sara.

   George traces Sara's life from birth through nursing home placement. He describes her vitality and love people of people during her youth; her activity filled college years and accomplishments as a home-maker and mother.

   George goes on to relate how the subtle changes in her personality and behavior gradually forced him to realize that something was wrong. He portrays the many doctors visits, tests and medication she endured. He relates how changes in Sara affected the entire family and how they coped.

  He continues to be Sara's devoted and loving husband to this day and remains actively involved in her plan of care while she lives in a nursing home.

   This book is both informational and inspirational. It is a very realistic account of how real people are affected by Alzheimer's and the problems that they have to deal with in order to survive. George shares the many little things he does in order to keep his love for Sara alive as well as how he manages to get the needed respite in order to carry on. It is a good read for any spouse of a person with the diagnosis of dementia.

Book Review

by Mary Ann Laubacher
Education Coordinator
Central New  York Chapter
Alzheimer’s Association
Syracuse, New York

   This is a love story and a true account of a husband caring for his wife throughout their marriage and in spite of Alzheimer’s.  This biography fills in what Nicholas Sparks left out of his novel The Notebook.

   After having led hundreds of support groups and listened to dozens of families tell the story of how Alzheimer’s has affected their lives, marriages, and families, I thought this book would cover familiar territory.   However, Mr. Ellison gives detailed and accurate description of his wife Sara’s story.  Given this framework of their relationship, we are able to recognize when Sara’s first signs for the disease emerge.  Well written and captivating.  I found that I wanted to see what happened next although I knew what was coming.

   Ellison walks us down the long road from which there is no return for Sara.  This strong, successful Marine major explains how he has kept his love alive.  He describes his family’s hopes and dreams and how they keep Sara in their lives through her letters and memories.  The book is not only a tribute to the woman who stood by him, but a guide to others who have stumbled with the roadblocks that Alzheimer’s throws in the path of a long and happy marriage.  Marty Manning read the book and made the following comments:

    “I stayed up until one this morning finishing the book. It was great...
provides a very accurate look at Alzheimer’s and the effects (it has on a family).  I would caution readers to realize no two cases are the same---different behaviors---different progressions, etc.  For someone to better understand what it’s all about, however, I’d strongly recommend She Never Said Goodbye.”

   The “Helpful Information” at the end of the book is truly useful.

   What use are these personal accounts of individuals who have learned to deal with Alzheimer’s?  As I work with the Early State Strategy Groups and see the positive effect of cholinesterase inhibitors (Aricept and Exelon), I am angry that Ellison did not have the extra time with Sara that the drugs provide.  Families will benefit from Ellison’s insight and experiences:  “As time has passed and I have learned so many things the hard way, I see where I would do things differently now...The first thing I should have done was to go the local Alzheimer’s Association.” (p. 190)  Perhaps  more importantly, readers will understand what families go through and how to help.  The Ellisons’ story is at once true and sad and beautiful.   However, with advocacy and research, I hope this story will truly be history within the next 10 years. 



Book Review

by The Alzheimer’s Association
South Central Pennsylvania Chapter
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

“She Never Said Goodbye” is a true story about George Vernon Ellison, a retired Major with twenty years in the Marine Corps, and his wife Sara and their journey through Alzheimer’s disease.  Sara began to exhibit bizarre behavior at age 53; getting lost in familiar places and repetitive questioning which escalated in 1990.  It was the beginning of what the author termed “our lives swerving off the road we were traveling on, onto a new road from which there was no turning back.”

The book is very honest; discusses frustrating issues like getting a diagnosis, understanding the disease process, handling anger and guilt to finding an ounce of acceptance. 

Caregivers will relate to this story of dedication, love and the roller coaster ride of emotions.  It also includes a chapter on helpful information that can serve as a starting point for those who are taking care of a love one with Alzheimer’s disease.  “She Never Said Goodbye” is a great book for anyone wanting to learn more about the disease and the journey or for those who enjoy true love stories.

BOOK REVIEW

by Patricia F. Roby
Director
Clark-Champaign-Logan Office
Miami Valley Chapter
Alzheimer’s Association
Springfield, Ohio

    I found this book to be poignant as well as informative.  So many times throughout the book, I found myself wondering how one man can love one woman so completely.  I am constantly amazed when I find couples like Vern and Sara Ellison.  They represent the few of us who truly are devoted to each other.

   While Vern was recounting Sara’s childhood, you could not begin to fathom that Alzheimer’s would take her away from family and friends.  We never think about what maladies may visit us when we are young and healthy.

   When the story of their married life, children, and moving with the Marine Corps was unfolding, I wondered how they were going to survive the many separations.  Obviously they did.  Again, it must have been the strong bond between them.

   The  changes that started so slowly were typical of Alzheimer’s disease.  Unfortunately, as Vern recounted, most people don’t recognize these first symptoms for what they are.  I was extremely touched by the care Vern took in retelling the arduous and puzzling times that were so perplexing at the time.  It really is a detective story when you are trying to piece all of the various bizarre behaviors together over what can be a very long time.

   When he finally got to the point where he and Sara were getting a diagnosis, I felt I was going through the struggles with him.  Trying to figure out where Sara’s mind is, when she is doing something bizarre was very apparent to Vern’s recollections.  Causing me to feel like I am watching him while he is watching her is an amazing feat for a writer.  I felt like I was outside a glass house watching the drama unfold.

   But, I think the most heartbreaking point of the book was when Vern had to put Sara into Long-Term Care.  It was obvious that he didn’t want to.  The many times that I would have pitched a fit, had I been Vern, about the “care” or lack of it by the nursing home or the physicians would been too numerous to count.  Even though I am a health care professional and have been a  director of nursing in long-term care, I would have been livid.  The manner in which he conducted himself was incredible.  I know that it must have been tearing him apart.  But, he knew that they were doing the best they could at the time.

   All in all, I find this book to be one of the best I have read on the strains and stresses that a spouse has to endure with their loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.  Vern was able to tell his story with intelligence and compassion and without becoming maudlin or depressing.  I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to understand what a caregiver might go through.

Book Review

by Corn Belt Chapter
Alzheimer’s Association
Normal, Illinois

   This book is a narration of the devastating progression of Alzheimer’s disease on the author’s beloved wife Sara.  He begins with their early  courtship days and continues through each stage and behavior change, relating in easy to understand language how it affected him and their children and how they have coped.  Photos help us to see Sara as she was and as she is today---a real, feeling person.  Mr. Ellison was not hesitant in his book to “tell all.”  It comes through loud and clear that he has a deep and abiding devotion to his wife in this difficult situation.  Recommended reading for caregivers.

Book Review

by Alzheimer’s Association
Montpelier, Vermont

Caregiver's Story Good Read for Alzheimer's Caregivers She Never Said Goodbye (My wife's disappearance down a road of no return-Alzheimer's) by George Vernon Ellison.

For Sara and George Ellison, thirty-seven years of marriage, work and family would not end in the relaxing retirement they had envisioned. Sara was in her late fifties when she started experiencing signs of Alzheimer's disease. Her doctors, family and friends attributed her problems to empty nest syndrome, menopause and depression. Never was the word Alzheimer's used. Only after Sara was prescribed Cognex, a drug for Alzheimer's, did George begin to understand what he was about to loose.

Ellison's thoughtful summary reads as a "Caregivers Guide" to Alzheimer's disease. He includes sections on Medicaid and how to obtain long-term care insurance. In addition, he reveals deeply personal emotions he experienced caring for his young wife. Ellison's ability to share his story and challenges, solutions, and sadness is a great tribute and memorial to Sara.

"My wife never got to know her grandchildren," says George Ellison. "They never got to know her. The know her in illness and this (book) will be record for them that they can read later.